Thursday, November 29, 2007

How NOT to make a sale

It's that time of year again, when I must buy a new dress for the office functions. When I weighed 100 pounds I enjoyed the experience, now that I weigh a bit (ok, a lot more) it's not such a fun experience.

Today, I went with Shawn to the mall to get some shopping done and to look for the dress. I went into one of my favourite stores hoping to find something appropriate. Shawn took his seat in The Husband Chair while I went to the dress section and started browsing. When I shop for any clothes, I usually wait until something jumps out at me so for the most part I like to be left alone. Well tonight, I was approached by a salesperson. This is what transpired:

Her: Are you looking for a dress?
Me: (inside voice: Why else would I be looking here?) outside voice: Yes.
Her: What size are you?
Me: (inside voice: None of your freaking business!) outside voice: The number, I'm not posting it here :)
Her: (pulling out a dress) Here's one in your size and it's a nice one because it hides everything.
Me: (inside voice: Go blow it out your ear.) outside voice: I don't really like velvet.
Her: Why not try it on anways?
Me: Ok.
Her: What about this one?
Me: (inside voice: No way am I going to wear a dress the same colour as baby poop.) outside voice: I don't have shoes that go with that colour.
Her: What about this one?
Me: (inside voice: Maybe if I was about 100 years old.) Not really what I'm looking for, but I'll try it.
Her: This one will be perfect!
Me: (inside voice: YIKES!) outside voice: It's out of my price range.
Her: What?
Me: It's out of my price range.
Her: I don't understand.
Me: (inside voice: Oh boy.) outside voice: It's too much money.
Her: How about this one?
Me: (inside voice: Maybe if I was a hooker.) Outside voice: I don't think so.
Her: Ok, I'll put these two in the dressing room.

So I tried both of the dresses and both of them stayed in the store. The search continues.

12 comments:

Lisa said...

LOL too funny. Well, not really but ya gotta laugh. What was she all of 19 or something. I'm sure you'll find something. You'd look cute in just about anything!!

Catherine said...

You're much more patient than I am.

Hope you find a dress. We know you'll look beeeautiful!

Made in China said...

Oh boy - we've all been there!!!

MotherMotherOcean said...

Come shop with me. I will go out with you. We will find something.

Kristine and Shawn said...

Yikes!! I probably would have said a few things to her in my "inside voice" like "leave me the he** alone!!". Just kidding, I am as polite as you are!!
Good luck in the search, your dress is out there... Oh and they have some really cute skirt/top formal wear in the stores this season so you don't always HAVE to buy a dress!!

Janet said...

That is R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S. What an idiot. What do you mean "I don't understand" that's out of my price range? Helllllloooooo?

Go somewhere else, sweetie! :-)

I hope you find the PERFECT dress!

redmaryjanes said...

I don't like it when sales people try to pick stuff out for me. I like to shop on my own and then find someone when I want help or to try something on.

A Special Family said...

Oh how awful, I hate it when sales people make suggestions. I always tell them "I'm just browsing" over and over again and they sometimes get it. I found malls in York Region the worst for that!!
I'm sure you'll look lovely :)

Liz & Ava said...

I always tell them I'll come find them when I need them! Really think you should have used your "inside voice"...but then again she probably wouldn't have understood it either!
Good Luck!...I hate clothes shopping too! I guess that's why I'm a shoe fanatic!

Jenn said...

LOL !! I can't wait to see the results of the search. I will be hunting this week as well ... nothing like leaving it to the last minute!! I will think of this as I hunt/shop ... it will provide a much needed giggle. Thanks!!

Two Kayaks said...

I would have freaked! Sigh...people exhaust me in general. HOpe you have better luck in your search.

secret agent said...

that's pretty funny
they are so irritating.....I hate to be "helped" in a store.
I just in my mean voice say
"really, I'm fine"
and usually they go away