Friday, September 24, 2010

On the Outside

Many of you know the crisis Shawn and I went through last summer.  During this time, someone asked me if it was difficult to be around children.  My response, it's not difficult being around children.  It's difficult being around the adults that belong to those children.  As someone who doesn't have children, I've come to realize that in social gatherings I am on the outside and I will always be on the outside.  Not Shawn, just me.

Let me explain what I mean.  From my observations when there's a gathering of any sort, people will always talk about things they have in common.  For guys, it seems to be about cars, BBQ's and sports.  For women, it's about children.  I imagine it's a pride thing.  I can understand that.  But that means I can't participate in any part of the conversation.  That means I'm invisible.  That means I'm irrelevant. 

Maybe one day I'll be on the other side, I won't be looking in anymore.  I will welcome that day with open arms but I hope I never forget what it's like to be on the outside.


Juliette said...

You won't forget.

Hugs dear D. BIG Hugs.

Two Kayaks said...

I agree that you won't forget.
And, I want to apologize if I've ever made you feel as though you are on the outside. I don't ever want to be the cause of anyone's sadness and it pains me to know that you feel this way. I mean, how can you not feel this way?
Big huge hugs, my friend.

Janet said...

I can not imagine how hard it is. I can only hope and pray that I can be sensitive to you, and others in your situation. I would NEVER want to make you feel alone or excluded!

Michele said...

I would never want to be a cause of your pain either and I hope that one day soon you will have more than your share of kiddo stuff to talk about. None of us will ever forget.

Besides you and I will always have something else to talk about....the sewing. There is never enough of that subject in my world.

Catherine said...

Oh friend. I know how you feel and truly hope I've never caused you to feel this way. If I have...I'm sorry. It is tough to long for something so desperately and yet have it out of your control. Someday it will happen and we'll all be celebrating right alongside you!!!

3D said...

It is so hard. It is still fresh and I can recall how that feels. I hope that we never made you feel anything bad. U are nothing short of wonderful.

Keep smilin!