Monday, June 09, 2014

In Search of Advice

Well we are finally coming back to earth after the referral of our daughter and realize we have a lot to do in these next few weeks.  We were told we would be travelling in the next 9-10 weeks.  I have a few questions from BTDT parents and hope you can answer some of them.

  1.  Baby carrier: Which baby carrier did you use?  Was it good? Did your back hurt after a while?  Lily is a bit older but a wee little thing so we're trying to figure out which carrier would be good to use.
  2. Stroller: Did you use a stroller?  Did you bring one from home or buy one in China?
  3. Gifts: What kind of gifts did you bring for the orphanage? Did you buy it at home or in China? For those who had kids in foster care, what did you bring for the foster family?
  4. Carrying cash: How did you carry your cash into China?  Did you use a money belt or just left it in your carry on?  What type of money belt did you use?
  5. Bonding and attachment tips: We've read a lot about bonding and attachment but just looking to see what worked for you? My good friend Catherine has given me a lot of great tips, use the baby carrier, bottle feed and feed with fingers.  Anything else?

That's all I can think of for now.  May come back with more questions later.


Kathy said...

We had cheap carrier wish we had the ERGO. I used it for a long time as Ri was a peanut, adopted her at 15 months and she weighed only 12 pounds. She is 8 now and only 39 pounds and 45 inches. I wouldn't use a stroller if possible it was HOT while we were there but just took turns carrying her and changed shirts and undergarments frequently. Bottle feed her if she will take it, we left Ri on formula until she was 3 for extra calories and bonding and co slept. Sleeping in crib for her was a NO GO, and sleep is a necessity. Congrats again, she is beautiful.

Doris Clark said...

We'll talk...

Keep smilin!

Katie said...

Ergo is wonderful and good for older children. The Ergo Sport is nice because it keeps things a bit cooler.

Jamie and Angela said...

Buy a cheap umbrella stroller in China, don't take one with you since it could get broken on the flight over, or you may not even use it. Our guide took our group to a Walmart before we got the babies so that we could get strollers and diapers.

Amanda said...

I would use a carrier...even though she is older, it promotes GREAT bonding!!!! We used a Hip Panda Hip carrier...I'm sorry I tried looking it up online for you, but couldn't find it!!! As far as gifts....we went to Bath & Body Works & got nice soaps & lotions...our girlie was not in foster care though so I can't help there! As far as cash we were NERVOUS about carrying that much cash.....we used a carrier that went under your shirt & around your husband carried the money & it was never a problem!!! But I would keep the money on your body!!

I'm so excited for you all!!! I can't wait to follow along!!


Liz and Ava said...

Use a baby carrier, the ergo is great! I would ditch the stroller other than to carry stuff, not the child. Lesson learned from experience!
Bottle feed, don't let her hold the bottle, that's mom's job. Always bottle feed with child facing you. Finger feed is good too. All care comes from Mom or Dad, ie feeding, changing, bathing, dressing, soothing etc for at least the first 6 months. Others can help out by picking up the slack in other areas, ie meals, cleaning house, laundry etc. By respecting this choice they are actually helping Lily form a secure attachment with the ones she should be most attached to.
Play alot of "permanance" games, ie hiding behind a blanket and then poping back up to show het you are still there. Post institutional children seem to miss tjis milestone of object permanence and need help learning it.
Keep your world very small for at least several months home, just your immediate family as much as you can... She needs to learn that you are who keeps her safe and meets all her needs.
Alot of skin to skin cuddling, bath with her, cuddle this way when feedingbbedtime bottle.
Co sleeping is an excellent attachment promotion.
If you do use a stroller when home, one facing you is best.
Alot of floor time with Lily, face to face. Limit containment containors as much as possible.
Hope these suggestions help.

L.J said...

We used money belts from walmart. I kept the passports in a fnny pack and carried a "dummy" purse with no valuables on my shoulder. It was winter so the fanny pack was always covered.

Suz said...

Congratulations!!! We loved our Ergo carrier! I would recommend taking some US diapers and saving the pm for the plane rides, just a tip I wish I had done, it's a long flight ho me with not so great China diapers :(. We also took a couple if rubber pants to put over the China diapers and they were a life saver! Enjoy every minute of your long awaited adventure!!!!

Jen said...

Oh, congratulations! She is precious.

I have to say get the Ergo. My back only hurt when I carried her the first day without the Ergo. Afterwards, I was always glad to have it with me. It was a lifesaver.

We never used a stroller, but one family in our group did. Their child was a bit older and heavier. Our girl was almost a year old and tiny. The Ergo saved our backs and was great for bonding. Our daughter loved being snuggled up close to us.

I wouldn't stress over the gifts. I did, but they were such a nonissue once there. We handed them off and never really saw their reactions to them. We did take small gift bags and tissue paper and were able to quickly assemble them in the hotel room right before they were needed.

We used a simple travel money belt. It came in handy. Also, I would have a backpack with a lock on it, because China is so crowded, that we often felt like people were right on top of us. It just felt safer having the backpack locked when out in big touristy places.

Having great snacks are good for bonding... once you figure out what is a hit, keep that snack in great supply! We used a lot of the Gerber puffs over Cheerios, because they were soft and just melted away in our daughter's mouth. She clearly hadn't been used to having crunchy items, so they were great.

Hope this helps!

Susan said...

Congratulations! Just came upon your blog and while it has been 10 years since our last adoption, I still remember the thrill. It is going to be HOT so you may want to purchase an umbrella stroller for outings for both your baby's and your comfort. Give her three days and she will settle in and be comfortable with you. Definitely get a money belt, we also put our money in snack sized zip lock bags to keep it from getting sweaty.